Are You A Sponge?

How do you do when you are around others who are holding negative emotions and waving them around like a flag? Do you become a sponge and quickly pick up those emotions and have them rule your day? Or do you have ways of fending them off? I learned early on that people’s energy can have huge impact on our energy levels and our presence, if we allow it. It is important to be aware of how you respond to other’s emotions, feelings and energies.

The first place that I start is by asking myself some simple questions. Questions like: is this feeling mine or someone else’s and if it is mine what is causing it? If it is not mine, who or what is the source? It could be your angry aunt sitting in the car with you fuming about the traffic. Or it could be the movie you just watched at the theater with a particularly violent scene that you have not yet processed yet.

If it is at all possible try distancing yourself from the source, particularly if it is a person. Try leaving the room, entering a new conversation with a different group of people, or changing your seat. Obviously, you do not want to be offensive, but you certainly can get creative!

Try taking a deep breath and grounding yourself. It actually helps. It provides you with a pause before you react in action or words. It also connects you to your authentic self. I actually do a breathing technique of inhaling in peace and calming energies and exhaling any of the negative energies, whether it be anger, frustration, or judgment. It really helps.

A very powerful way of fending off the negative energies of others is to shield yourself. Do what works for you. For some it is surrounding themselves with a white light, others put themselves within an impenetrable bubble of positive energy, others don a cloak of protection. You want to view this as a buffer between you and the negativity. You have control of this shield and it empowers you and protects you as well.

Being mindful is really the most important part of this. Knowing that you are susceptible to other’s energies and making sure you only take on what you want or need is important. Keeping yourself in check with what is yours and what is others helps you support a healthy balance with the energies that cross your path daily.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade

Checking In With Self

There is a belief among many people that we act as mirrors for one another. Sitting in sacred circle we often find ourselves sitting directly across from someone whom Spirit has placed there for us to witness, honor, celebrate, and reflect upon. What happens to you when you cross paths with someone who "pushes your buttons"? Do you question what is happening and why or do you simply react? This type of situation is an opportunity from Spirit, the gift of a lesson, a chance to look inward and learn more about Self. We are learning to walk through life with intention, recognizing when Spirit is at work in our lives, (when is It not?!) pausing to reflect, to process, and to look within.

As evolving beings of Spirit we have a responsibility to be accountable to our selves. When we have a strong reaction to someone in our life, whether it be negative, positive or simply provoking in some way, we are being gifted with a lesson about Self, about who we are and who we wish to be.

Take the time to look at what this person triggers in you. What is your reaction? Is it an attribute that you personally own as well? Be completely honest. Try to recall times when you have exhibited this attribute and with whom. What were the results? How did you feel about being that way? Was it empowering, embarrassing, harmful, constructive, negative or positive? If it is a trait that you do not have? Explore why. Is it something you feel weak in? Something that was not every made available or modeled to you? Is it a trait that feels entirely foreign and unattainable? What is it about this trait that you admire and how could it serve you?

All this introspection into Self helps you find balance. It helps bring into alignment what you long for, what you have the ability to become and what you need to release. It is important that we do this practice . It helps us become stronger in so many ways. It offers us insight into unconscious patterns we may be falling into. It teaches us about our weaknesses and strengths. It is important that we take a truthful assessment of ourselves and hold ourselves accountable if we wish to grow and become our best Self—the one that is connected to Spirit. No one else can or should do this for us. If someone in your life is attempting to hold you accountable to their review of you, it is their baggage and you should take control of this opportunity and ownership of your power over reviewing and accessing your own life. Asking for feedback must be done with full consciousness of your ability to receive information in a spirit of gratitude and your observation that the person you ask is committed to doing this kind of work and has valid experience to share. So, be careful of who you ask!

So, the next time you notice an energetic shift occurring within you that is being prompted by an interaction with someone, pause, reflect, question, process. Then receive this amazing gift of power to learn more about yourself and fully embrace it!

Are You Singing the Blues?

SO you are having one of those days. You know what kind I mean. You woke up tired, you don’t want to work out, you can’t wait for the kids to get on the bus or are considering taking a sick day from work, you cannot even begin to think about what is for dinner or the laundry or . . . It is a day you wish to hide from. It is a day when your energy is at its lowest. It is a day when NOTHING seems positive or bright. Everything is weighted down with a veil of grey! A happy thought seems pretty far away and you just want to get through the day.

So what do you do? How do you handle one of these days? Everyone has a different style, chooses a different approach, and some are more healthy and honoring than others.

Can you lean into the darkness? Can you embrace it and just accept it for what it is, without feeding the need to try to change it? Can you accept that sometimes our tanks are less than full, or vision is a little clouded and our bodies are simply worn out? What would happen if you stood with a healthy gaze to meet the eye of a bad day? No whining about it, no taking it out on others, no hiding your head under your pillow. You just face it . . . that’s all. Accept it for what it is? Have you ever tried that?

Sometimes, some of us try to pretend it’s not there. BUT we really don’t do a very good job, which just adds to our exhaustion. AND whoever told us we wouldn’t have bad days or that if we do we need to buck up, suck it up and smile? PLEASE!

Instead, try this, “Ok self, it looks like it is going be one of those days. Let’s just go with it. Let’s not blame or judge anyone or anything. Let’s not project any anger, irritation, frustration or pity. Let’s not go and hide under the covers or in a glass of wine (whine). Let’s just BE with it.” How does that make you feel? Maybe it won’t erase the bad day . . . BUT it will keep it from getting worse!

It is about having integrity over the choices you make in your life. It is about being answerable about how you handle the good, the bad and the ugly! Honoring your body temple also means honoring the bad days too. Life is not filled with Hallmark moments. We can still be wise women, full women, intention filled women and have a bad day. It’s ok. Tomorrow we begin again!

When you are blue, what shade are you? Are you deep dark navy or robin’s egg? Finding the exact depth, color, or shape of your sadness sometimes helps keep it in perspective. I used this with my children when they were young. If someone came screaming in the back door, holding their throbbing finger, tears streaming down their face and wailing, I would say, “You have hurt yourself and are very upset! How red does it hurt? Is it fire engine red or is it cotton candy pink?” They got used to this tool as an assessment. Sometimes they would pick one or the other or they would say in between. It helped me to help them. It helped them to keep in focus the level of their pain and then as the pain subsided they could express this by saying it is getting lighter in color. Most importantly, it gave them something else to focus the intense energy of the pain and their feelings towards and gave them a method of expression.

Shades of sadness are even more varied. If you approach all your sadness with the same level of energy then you may be sending a mixed message to your body, mind and heart. Yes, pain is pain, but if you are “down in the dumps” that is very different than having your heart feel like it is breaking. You deserve the correct level and dosage of attention. Too much—too often and you can become numb the healing effects of good self-care! Too little—too late and your Self feels neglected.

The next time you have a down day, a day of hurt, or a day of sadness . . . what shade of blue can you attach to it? See if that helps you in measuring out your dose of self-care appropriately.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade

Me and My Shadow

I recently re-read Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers for the third time. To say I love this book is an understatement. Each and every time I read it I learn more. I seem to go deeper into the pages, to the words, to the theory and to the process. Debbie Ford teaches us how to understand what the shadow is. She explains that working with shadow allows us to reach the darker side of ourselves where our small self resides. It also allows us to embrace our highest self in all its brilliance. If you wish to be free of shame and blame, if you wish to experience self-love and acceptance, then shadow work is for you. You will need to bring your tool belt with the tools of honesty, compassion and bravery at the ready. You will need to show up and be present. So what is your shadow? Think of the different parts of yourself you often don’t like to own up to. What are the parts of you that you are prone to denying or hiding from others? Those are your shadow sides. If you have ever felt you were lazy, mean spirited, fearful, or selfish…those would be aspects of shadow. Other aspects could be silliness, awkwardness, clumsy or dull. Get the picture?

Until we make peace with our shadow side and accept it, we live a life of battle with our wholeness. We give so much of our power away when we do not have this alignment. We create an inner struggle and we do not fully embrace all of ourselves. According to Ford, “The whole world is a mirror of our own consciousness, and when we make peace with the disowned aspects of ourselves, we make peace with the world.” So take a look at the people and the situations of our life. How are things being mirrored back to you? If you don’t like what you see, then there may be some shadow work that needs to be done.

Debbie Fords shadow work shows a way of embracing the shadow side of ourselves. Instead of running away from shadow or rejecting it, we view our shadows as our teachers. When we open up to the lessons and gifts we then see our hurts and wounds become transformed into wisdom we can take to our life’s path. Our shadow side is not something to be resolved or healed…it is something to dig into, to go deeper and deeper still, harvesting a rich and abundant life! We face what we have feared, love what we have hated and embrace what we have denied. We become fuller and more powerful. It is a process that changes everything.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade