SO you are having one of those days. You know what kind I mean. You woke up tired, you don’t want to work out, you can’t wait for the kids to get on the bus or are considering taking a sick day from work, you cannot even begin to think about what is for dinner or the laundry or . . . It is a day you wish to hide from. It is a day when your energy is at its lowest. It is a day when NOTHING seems positive or bright. Everything is weighted down with a veil of grey! A happy thought seems pretty far away and you just want to get through the day.
So what do you do? How do you handle one of these days? Everyone has a different style, chooses a different approach, and some are more healthy and honoring than others.
Can you lean into the darkness? Can you embrace it and just accept it for what it is, without feeding the need to try to change it? Can you accept that sometimes our tanks are less than full, or vision is a little clouded and our bodies are simply worn out? What would happen if you stood with a healthy gaze to meet the eye of a bad day? No whining about it, no taking it out on others, no hiding your head under your pillow. You just face it . . . that’s all. Accept it for what it is? Have you ever tried that?
Sometimes, some of us try to pretend it’s not there. BUT we really don’t do a very good job, which just adds to our exhaustion. AND whoever told us we wouldn’t have bad days or that if we do we need to buck up, suck it up and smile? PLEASE!
Instead, try this, “Ok self, it looks like it is going be one of those days. Let’s just go with it. Let’s not blame or judge anyone or anything. Let’s not project any anger, irritation, frustration or pity. Let’s not go and hide under the covers or in a glass of wine (whine). Let’s just BE with it.” How does that make you feel? Maybe it won’t erase the bad day . . . BUT it will keep it from getting worse!
It is about having integrity over the choices you make in your life. It is about being answerable about how you handle the good, the bad and the ugly! Honoring your body temple also means honoring the bad days too. Life is not filled with Hallmark moments. We can still be wise women, full women, intention filled women and have a bad day. It’s ok. Tomorrow we begin again!
When you are blue, what shade are you? Are you deep dark navy or robin’s egg? Finding the exact depth, color, or shape of your sadness sometimes helps keep it in perspective. I used this with my children when they were young. If someone came screaming in the back door, holding their throbbing finger, tears streaming down their face and wailing, I would say, “You have hurt yourself and are very upset! How red does it hurt? Is it fire engine red or is it cotton candy pink?” They got used to this tool as an assessment. Sometimes they would pick one or the other or they would say in between. It helped me to help them. It helped them to keep in focus the level of their pain and then as the pain subsided they could express this by saying it is getting lighter in color. Most importantly, it gave them something else to focus the intense energy of the pain and their feelings towards and gave them a method of expression.
Shades of sadness are even more varied. If you approach all your sadness with the same level of energy then you may be sending a mixed message to your body, mind and heart. Yes, pain is pain, but if you are “down in the dumps” that is very different than having your heart feel like it is breaking. You deserve the correct level and dosage of attention. Too much—too often and you can become numb the healing effects of good self-care! Too little—too late and your Self feels neglected.
The next time you have a down day, a day of hurt, or a day of sadness . . . what shade of blue can you attach to it? See if that helps you in measuring out your dose of self-care appropriately.
Blessings ~ Lisa
©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade