The Gentle Act of Comfort

There are many people who are suffering, for many reasons, and feeling alone, misunderstood and fearful. There are also many people who are in their lives who do not know how to respond to this pain. They don't know what to do or how to act around this suffering and loss. And so this energy of awkwardness, emptiness, anxiousness and misunderstanding grows.

We don't like to see the ones we love and care for struggle. It causes us distress and discomfort. Often times this makes us feel like we need to DO something to help ease their pain. It also gives us something to focus on instead of being in our own pain and discomfort. But this is not always the needed action. To simply be present with someone who is in pain and allow them to just BE is often the most important thing we can do and a very powerful gift to be able to offer.

Try to remember a time when you were hurting. There really wasn't much anyone could do, the situation existed and you had to live through the loss, the hurt, the disappointment and learn how to move on. The reality is all you really wanted was for someone to offer some compassion, to give you a hug, to hold your hand, to be gentle with you as you tried to move through the hurt, the suffering and find some clarity on what was next. Remember how it felt when that was offered to you. Remember the ease it brought to your heart and mind. Remember how you felt honored and witnessed. Remember how grateful you were for the space of kindness and compassion.

Solace is a tremendous and necessary gift that when offered genuinely and with grace is valued beyond measure. To be able to be with someone who is suffering, sit with their pain and bring your time, your heart, your soul presence is a beautiful offering that holds tremendous healing energies.

We are a fix-it society. But often, when there is pain and loss, the best way to bring peace to the wound is to offer it time, gentleness, rest from the struggle and compassion, tender compassion, to the wounded soul. It keeps that place in time simple and uncomplicated. It keeps the energies quiet and pure. It keeps the heart open and the flow gentle. Bringing this to the life of a friend or loved one who is hurting is a very special gift you can offer; a heart to soul healing love.

Blessings, Lisa

The Guidance of Inner Wisdom

Unfortunately it is a challenge to go through life without having someone think that they know what is best for you and are insistent in sharing it. All the insights and concepts that they share will always, always pale in comparison to your inner wisdom. This is your most powerful resource. It is not found in books, in others' opinions, or online. It has been an abundant supply of knowing that resides within you that you can tap into as needed.

The important fact about this guidance that we all have is that in order for it get stronger and in order for us to be able to trust it, we have to use it. By using it we show that we value it and we begin to understand the ways in which it steps up to gain our recognition.

Inner wisdom does not care about what others think, what day of the week it is, how much money is involved, or how others are doing "it". Nor is it influenced by anything but what is true for you, in this moment, for your highest good, whatever that may be. Learning to lean into this inner wisdom and practice using it to guide you greatly impacts the choices you make and the direction your path takes us. It helps you stay in alignment with what is right for you, not playing catch up or comparison with others.

We all have this natural wisdom, though some are not willing to recognize it and others refuse to trust it. But for those who do, your inner consciousness will expand, your intuition will heighten, your personal power will grow and your self awareness will awaken. You will have conviction in your choices. You will bring truth to your actions. You will discover wonder in your ways. All this because you are now allowing this brilliant tool that you were born with guide you like no one else can. It is as though you are now holding hands with the Universe and you begin to see that all is as it should be and the beauty and joy to be found in that surrounds you.

Blessings, Lisa

Loss of Land Brings on Flood

Life has its disappointments. People let you down, circumstances do not lead you to your hopes and dreams, other's make choices that don't align with yours and so on. How do you roll with the energies that rise up from this place of loss? The way in which you respond can either help you find your way through or find you in a undertow that will cause you tremendous struggle. In a recent loss of a hoped for land to build our homestead on, I found myself in a flood of feelings to swim through.

While I try to live a life without expectations, it is not always easy. Our passions and our dreams often bring us to a place in life where we are filled with anticipation. All is well, if the next sequence of events unfolds in the way or at least somewhat like what you hoped for. But when they don't we find ourselves feeling a bit lost, maybe feeling a little empty or sad and trying to figure out what is next.

When this happens, I try to give myself time for pause. I need to be present with my feelings, rather than stuff them or ignore them. In the past, when I would do this, they would only surface once again, a bit later, often during a very inconvenient time, bringing with them a fury of energies that was disproportionate to what they originally were. Quite a mess to mop up. Eventually, I figured out I could save myself a good deal of clean up if I would just give them room right at the beginning of their bubbling forth.

Sitting in this place of pause I can grieve if I need to. I can also allow the disappointment to rise up and then release it. I don't hold onto it begrudgingly. I don't fester over it. And with time, I can look beyond. That is the beauty of feelings, they come and go, if we allow them to.

I picture myself riding the waves, rising and falling, sinking and surfacing, but always able to walk out of the waters of emotions. They are an important part of who I am, but they do not define me or control me.

Each time I can do this, I find a new depth has been reached within. I find a better understanding of who I am, why I do what I do, how I can evolve and where I am stretched. What a tremendous gift! Life brings us to these places for a reason. We may not always know why, but surely it serves us to be fuller, more aware, and closer to our truth.

So when disappointment washes over you, do not run and hide. Allow the shower to wash over you. Seek cover to wait it out. Pause and be. Feel and release. Open your heart and soul to the truth as it unfolds and embrace the gifts to be found there.

Blessings, Lisa

The Talk Of Mothers and Daughters

Gloria Steinem once said, "Every time a woman passes a mirror and criticizes herself, there's a girl watching..." Often as a role model for the young women and girls in our life we feel powerless as we struggle with our own body issues and acceptance. Yet, we are not unaware of the impact we can have on her developing self-image.

The one thing I have learned over the years, whether it be in parenting my own daughters or in working with other women, is that our children see everything. So when we skip a meal, complain about our cellulite, compare and critique other women's bodies or say disrespectful comments about our own body, it is witnessed and taken in. These young girls watch us as we look in the mirror at our reflection, they hear us talking to others about our body dissatisfaction, they listen to how we receive compliments and are aware of how we feel about our bodies.

Knowing this, it is important the we recognize that we need to change the way we are responding to our thoughts and self talk. We need to remember that our daughters see themselves through the mirror of our eyes. What we draw attention to about them and their body sends very strong messages. What we show them we value, whether it be a certain size, an age, or a hair color for example, they begin to use as their value system. If physical appearance is important to us, it will be to them.

It means creating healthy boundaries between our own personal process with our body acceptance and what we say and how we react in these body standards. Positive self talk will be witnessed and embraced. Focus on other attributes that are not beauty related and have nothing to do with appearance, changes where you and she will place value.

It takes time, it takes awareness, but in order to change the pattern of repetitive low self-worth and body shame, we have to start somewhere. There will still be plenty of messages passed on to our daughters about their beauty and their body through media and peers, but if our conversations with them focus on all that makes them so wonderful and unique, things will begin to change. If we can model to them acceptance and grace with our body, celebration of how it serves us and appreciation of all body types, the message will be loud and clear.

So where to begin? For starters stop talking and talking and talking about the latest diet. Try to send good healthy messages about your body through words and activities. Stop the negative talk about your body or anyone else's. Listen to the way she talks about her body and have conversations with her to help her see it from a more positive perspective or to share why she feels that way. With making some of these changes in your relationship with your body and with your daughter, you will begin to see changes both in your body awareness and in her developing self-concept of her beauty and her body image.

To learn more about Body Image Coaching, visit me at www.womenwithinsight.com.