The Phantom Judge

Who sets the standards that you live by? How often do you find yourself struggling to carry out what is expected of you? And who holds those expectations of you? Sometimes, without our even being aware of it, we are still holding on to the expectations of others from our past. These people could be parents, teachers, old lovers, or even friends. They may not even be a part of our life any longer. If we experienced a time in our life where we felt criticized or judged by them we may have an even harder time letting go of the need to try to meet those expectations, as we feel we have failed and long to “get it right”.

Living with the struggle of meeting others expectations often keeps us out of the light of our own personal power. This way of living keeps us from being our brightest and fullest self. When we judge ourselves and have expectation of our self that are not realistic we create the same scenario.

In order to live the life we have been blessed with in truth, authenticity and strength we need to see ourselves clearly. We also have to be honest with ourselves. And finally we need to hold some compassion in our hearts for our self as well.

Self-compassion softens edges. It allows fluidity. Allowing compassion to have a place in your heart allows you to walk in grace and be open to all possibilities. Compassion makes room for forgiveness and healing. Compassion makes it hard for judgment to take hold. Compassion gives you the strength to rise above doubt and discrimination.

A favorite quote by Nancy Lopez that I have copied into my journal is, “Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.”

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade