Finding Presence in Solitude


A day to myself! A rare thing in my life, but so valued. My husband and youngest son went to ski with our oldest son three hours from home. A full day to myself! What a treasure! What a treat! What to do?

I spent the morning preparing for a visit from a mentee later this week. She will be flying in from Hawaii and staying for a several days. We have so many delightful plans. I organized, gathered, grouped and prepared. I took great delight in making the space she will call home while here filled with beauty and comfort. I cleaned and primped the space. Washing the warmest of flannel sheets for her, knowing the New England temperature will feel fierce to her heat loving body. I set out candles and crystals to call in positive energies and peaceful moments. I gathered books to share, items to discuss, and mapped out activities we are so looking forward to doing together. The morning was quickly over as I delighted in my arrangements made for her visit. There was wondrous anticipation present in the joyful planning.

After a quiet lunch and a pot of Dragon's Well tea I read. Three whole uninterrupted chapters! I got lost in the pages, took notes, paused and re-read paragraphs and enjoyed the author's voice and vision. I then turned to my journal to capture my thoughts on what I had read and what inspirations were created. Curled up under an afghan with a cat sleeping on my feet, we both purred the early afternoon away. I felt connected to my soulful presence and my thoughts.

Later in the day I caught up on email and friend's messages. I looked up a few recipes for my mentee's visit. I then took stock of ingredients I had on hand and those I would need. I shared an hour long call with one of my daughters, exchanging thoughts about this and that and lots of laughter in between, missing her presence but feeling her essence through the phone lines.

As the quiet of the late afternoon descended I went into sacred space. It was there that I brought my presence and attention to next. I reflected deeply upon the past year and all its unfoldings. I looked inward to the ways in which I have expanded. I remembered the release of so many different aspects, beliefs and ways that were not serving me and realized that they were no longer missed. I appreciated those who are in my life, sharing of themselves, adding to my days, celebrating with me, challenging me, inspiring me and witnessing me and my work. I offered gratitude to the many ways in which Source allows me to connect, shows me light in the darkness, offers moments of encouragement and calls me further and deeper still. I wondered at the many possibilities that I have been exploring and felt a deep peace settle within me as I realized, whatever direction I choose, I will receive what I need from it, I will learn and grow in it and I will find beauty there as well.

After a simple dinner and a quick phone call from the men telling me they were heading home after a full day of skiing and male bonding, I found more presence. I sat looking out into the night sky. The full moon of yesterday, just a sliver shy. The gray sky of the day now filled with stars. The snow seeming to glow from the moonlight, with shadows of bare branched trees stretching over it. My heart and soul overflowing with the day's gifts and gentleness.

A day of solitude, full, varied and all mine. I brought my presence to each part of the day, finding in the layers much for me to honor. The abundance found, the gifts, the wonder, the reflections and the pause all swaddled me in a comfort much needed. It is a gentle reminder to me that days like today are a special necessity. Bringing presence in all its beautiful forms to my life allows me to step into the wholeness of my life and to feel my evolving truth in all its places.

Blessings, Lisa