How is your relationship with time and life? Odd question? Hard to answer? Not sure? I can relate. There was a time when I had a difficult time answering it. I was not really sure how my relationship with time and life truly was. I needed to figure it out. Here is what I discovered. First I had to find out what was needed in my relationship with time and with my life. I found I needed intention, desire, belief and willingness, a good amount of perseverance, some acceptance and willingness. Once I discovered the need for these things and how to relate to them, embrace them and BE them...my relationship with time and with my life changed, dramatically. In the most wonderful ways.
I learned I was losing parts of my life minute by minute, day in and day out, in a thousand small and tiny uncaring ways. I needed to step up and become conscious of my life, my beliefs and my choices. I took my intentions to work on first. I became very clear with what I wanted in my life. I looked at relationships, activities, locations, skills, achievements...you get the picture. I really spent time with a sharpie and made a list of intentions, specific intentions, that would bring about the changes in my life to be what I dreamed it could be.
Then I looked at my desire level. I know the more motivated I am about something the more energy I bring to the game. So I asked myself in total truth seeking, just how much I wanted this life for myself. Things that I felt challenged me in the motivation realm, I sat with and looked for the answer of why I was not motivated. More work to do, but I knew it would be so worth it! My life, the one I was dreaming of was worth it!
Then I ran into the wall of belief. Did I dare to believe I could trust I could actually have this life? I mean really? Old wounds and voices immediately surfaced. Holding patterns had to be broken, thoughts were challenged. My mindset had to be rebooted. I knew the power of my thoughts. If I did not truly believe I could have this life...how would I find a way to embrace it, to live it fully and to find the time for it? I also stopped worrying about what others believed I should be doing, wanting, creating or more. This was my life. Let them live theirs!
Of course from here I had to face my perseverance. It was going to take a while to change some of these bad habits, these old patterns because some of these had been with me my entire life, or as far back as I could remember; old stories to challenge.
I learned during this time of perseverance that I had to also work on my acceptance. I had to accept who I was in the moment, if I was mad...be mad, if I was frustrated be with it, or if I was nervous, accept it. By being present with myself and accepting I was experiencing these reactions to the hard work of creating a new relationship with life, I found that these reactions were not road blocks. I would become aware, recognize what was being brought up or triggered, accept it was part of me and my process and relatively quickly the reaction eased up. Wow!
This new relationship with time and life and my reactions to the process created a beautiful willingness within me to try to do things differently. I had an awareness that obviously if I kept doing the same thing the same way...what would change? But oh, how challenging, unnerving and odd it felt to not fall back on the usual ways; even when I new they would ultimately fail me or disappoint me. I had a period of time when I often had a good laugh at myself during this phase.
I learned the difference between existing and living. I don't know what the next moment holds for me, but I am not willing to waste anymore time worrying over it, trying to control it or building up regrets. Minute by minute my relationship with life is a beautiful unfolding of possibilities, gifts and lessons. I am in the life I want.
Blessings ~ Lisa ©COPYRIGHT 2013 Lisa Meade