Supportive Distance

file4991280736472The past few days have been spent, for me, in service to others, mostly family members. It was a full week of decision-making, events that provoked stresses and feelings of vulnerability for many of my family. Each one sought me out to vent to, to share with, to inquire from and to explore possibilities with. Being a mother of five children, this is something that I have grown accustomed to, but admittedly it is these times when two or more of them need me in this manner all at the same time that I feel the weight of it all. After much good work, insightful processing, patience and gentle unfolding, each has found them selves on the other side. They were able to walk through the door of decision and lesson on their own with my tender encouragement and love. Now we can celebrate the forward movement each has made on their path. Now we can look back at the lessons that sparkle like gems for each. It is beautiful.

And for me, now I can find some time for pause. As Cesare Pavese states, “Just a bit of silence and everything stops in its actual place.” And that is what I need on this day, just a bit of silence so that life can return to where it needs to be, so that I can engage with it in the place that I am and so that my family can continue moving on. I think there are times when we become engaged in the lives of our family and friends, sometimes because we are invited in, other times because our energies are required and then sometimes because we want to be. Regardless of the reason, it is important to our family and friends that we stay present and that we remember it is THEIR story that is unfolding. We do not need to be brought into the drama of it. Loving support means we are able to remain nearby but do not become so involved that we are living it for them.

I think for some this can be challenging. There are those who are the fixers, who want to undo any hurt file0001385824102(1)or wrong. There are those who are the diversion makers who try to draw away the loved one from potential pain or suffering. And there are those are the participants who become enthralled in the story, even though it is not there own. Learning how to be supportive and caring without stepping into any of these roles is sometimes challenging, but always important. It is within this space that we are allowing the one we love to learn what they need to, be who they are becoming and gain the lesson that is waiting for them, while we continue to love, encourage and witness for them with honor.

Blessings ~ Lisa