Many times people who believe themselves to be full of compassion, with the best of intentions, when seeing someone in pain will attempt to ease their suffering. They will make suggestions, offer distractions, will make comparisons and more. There may be times when this approach brings a temporary relief to the sufferer, but it is not always the balm that is appropriate or needed. As author John Gray states in the following quote, “When we experience the pain of another person, we instinctively want to take away that pain. But by taking away the other person’s pain, we also take away his or her opportunity to grow. To be truly compassionate, we must be able to share another person’s suffering and pain -- knowing there is nothing we can do to relieve it and that we are not responsible for it, and yet knowing and understanding what that pain feels like.” Holding someone in compassion and stepping aside in your need to fix things or make them feel better is often exactly what should be done. It opens a doorway for the person in pain. It allows them to be their own truth. It creates opportunity of support as they lean into a life lesson. Offering compassion offers an understanding, it offers a witnessing, it offers love and it offers room for the person in need to be whatever they need to be in that moment…it could be in pain, it could be in anger, or it could be in acknowledgement that things need to shift or change. It could be all this and more. But when we remove ourselves from any other role than that of compassion, they are given the supported freedom to be whatever it is they need to be.
Compassion is a quality of the soul. The soul can hold this space comfortably. It does not need to be anything more than loving witness. Our ego sometimes wants to be the hero and soothe the pain. Our minds may want to solve the problem. But our soul understands that there is beauty in all that life brings our way, even our pain. And in the expansion of this beauty we grow into more of who we are to become. Compassion welcomes this unfolding beauty. This is part of the soul’s journey. It glows with the energies of life, the highs and the lows, the joy and the sorrow and the wonder and the disappointment. And in each of these spaces it finds the beauty, the gifts, the lessons, and the depth of love and understanding of the truth that is revealed.
Blessings ~ Lisa
©COPYRIGHT 2013 Lisa Meade