Showing up and being present is a powerful way to enter your day and walk your path. But is also a sure way to be certain that you will annoy someone. Having strong opinions, beliefs and intentions are dynamic forces of expression and creativity. AND they ruffle feathers. I have learned that if I am not creating some sort of resistance then I am not being fully authentic. That is not to say that I am being confrontational or rude. But my days of people pleasing are over. I show up, with my convictions and my intentions and hope that my light will shine brightly. For some, they may believe it is too bright, or perhaps not bright enough. So be it. I am a woman of spirit, every day doing my best to bring my truth forward, to be open to possibilities and to live as consciously as I can. It may offend some. It may push others buttons. And it may disappoint others too. But it is all I can do to direct my energy on myself and not be concerned with the beliefs of others and their point of view of me. As a child I strove for acceptance from others. My self-esteem could have been measured by the praise or criticism others paid me. I did not have a reserve within to draw from during low points or during times of trial and test. It wasn’t until later in life that I became aware that my self-worth, my self acceptance and my inner beliefs could not be my personal truth if I continued to look to others for their take on me.
Freedom came in that moment! Freedom to walk my path and to create the life I hoped for. And surprisingly it was so much easier. Living up to others expectations and even, and I believe this was far worse for me, even restraining myself to not shine too brightly and appear overconfident or full of myself to others, was taxing. To awake each day and set my own intentions, hold vision to my own goals, to encourage and stretch myself and to allow myself time to learn, to pause and soak up a life’s lesson…all this became my dance of freedom.
I cut the invisible tie I had tethered to myself and to others point of view of me, my life and my successes and failures. This release has meant dedication to me. This severing was sometimes frightening and often exciting. This liberation allowed room for growth and expansion. This emancipation meant I was allowing myself to make mistakes, beautiful and glorious mistakes and not be laden with shame, guilt or over criticism of my efforts.
It was only with this that my evolution to authenticity began. It soon was thriving. It was many times messy and complicated. I learned to slow down, to find my own pace and tempo. And when I was ready I would propel my self forward, taking leaps of faith, enjoying calculated risks and exploring unknown territories of my life’s journey.
Letting go of the concern of what others thought, said or believed made the necessary difference for me to live the life intended by Spirit. There were the naysayers and disapprovers then and there are those now. The names and faces may have changed but their presence remains. But most importantly, I have changed. I am aware that my actions and beliefs will always cause some comment or critique. I casually observe and step over what does not serve me. These are no longer boulders blocking my path. Now, I rarely even stub my toe!
Blessings ~ Lisa
©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade