“The problem with running away when a relationship becomes difficult is that it's also turning away from ourselves and our potential breakthroughs. Fleeing the raw, wounded places in ourselves because we don't think we can handle them is a form of self-rejection and self-abandonment that turns our feeling body into an abandoned, haunted house. The more we flee our shadowy places, the more they fester in the dark, and the more haunted this house becomes. And the more haunted it becomes, the more it terrifies us. This is a vicious circle that keeps us cut off from and afraid of ourselves."- John Welwood We don’t often want to face the shadows of ourselves. It is sometimes painful, often challenging and usually makes us feel quite vulnerable. But it is in the pliable place of vulnerability that our change can occur. If we can admit that we all need to change aspects of ourselves, that we outgrow ourselves, that we need to release old baggage and experience our breakthroughs, it makes the option of facing the dark shadows even more important.
We need to learn to stand in the face of our shadows and not run from them by creating stories or excuses. We are far stronger than we know ourselves to be. Our soul knows our strength and it will call to us when we are entering through the doors of self-rejection or self-abandonment. It does not want us not to be whole or to fragment our selves. Our innate wisdom knows that we will continue to cower in a corner unless we look into the face of the monster we have created for our shadow.
Yet, often, that is all it is. It is a manifestation of our fear that has grown larger than life in our minds and in our emotions. When we face our shadow, even if we need the support of someone to guide us on how to do this, we open wide the door for our personal growth and development. We move closer to our authenticity. We learn to look at our self with compassion and grace. And once we get comfortable with that….we then look to others with that same authenticity, compassion and grace. We bring it forward onto our daily path.
So the next time you are faced with your shadow, don’t back away, don’t retreat to the old story and excuses. Bravely look it in the eye, accept the lesson and gift it has brought with it. Open yourself up to the possibility that this time the effort will be worth it and that the freedom from fleeing this aspect of yourself will be worth it. Break the cycle and stop spinning in circles, instead take the step up out of the past and move into the brightness that the future holds for you.
Blessings ~ Lisa
©COPYRIGHT 2013 Lisa Meade