You can only imagine! I run parts of two businesses, I am the mom of five children, I am married, I am enrolled in a spiritual practice practicum, I am a soul care practitioner and a spiritual life coach. And that is just for starters… My calendar does not lend itself to very much white space. BUT I have learned how to change that. A while back I discovered I really could control so much that I thought was beyond my control. I started small. I learned to gracefully say no without excuses, shame or guilt. I learned to set healthy boundaries for myself so I did not overbook, over complicate or over commit.
While taking my days into my own control, I learned something really important. When I check out, when I pause, when I say no…the world does not stop spinning! Imagine that! Life goes on! Others take over, get involved or go without and survive! Sheesh! Who knew?
Seriously though, creating space on the calendar gives me an important time for self-dating. I now have regular time in each and every day for self-time. It can be used in so many different ways. The only “rule” is that it MUST be for me and me only! So, what does that look like? It means I may go out on the deck and slowly sip a hot cup of tea, while sitting in the sun and listening to the birds. Or perhaps I will sit and write in my journal and explore a new concept I have recently read about. Sometimes I go online and Skype with a good friend, laughing and sharing and catching up. Other days I may pull out my favorite vegan cookbooks and come up with a few new recipes to tickle my taste buds with. There are days I go to bed a half hour earlier than usual and listen to some favorite music. Regardless of what it is, it always does the trick. I feel honored, I feel refueled, and I feel satisfied.
Self-dating means I intentionally create space in my day’s timeline to reconnect with myself. I assess how I am doing. I find out what I may need. I give to myself unconditionally and with great pleasure. It was not always easy. There were times when I felt it was not as important as another task calling me. But with commitment and time, I learned its value. Now, not a day goes by, regardless of how busy or full the calendar is, that I don’t find time for me. I am worth it! And there is an added bonus!
The better I respect this time of self the better my relationships with others becomes. I am fuller, richer, happier, calmer, and inspired. I am not drained, resentful, bitter, detached or frenzied. So it is a win/win for all involved. Self-dating is now an everyday act, without it, I don’t really like who I become and probably most others feel the same way! So, if you ask me to do something and I gracefully decline and say I have no time available, trust me…it is for the good of the whole!
Blessings ~ Lisa
©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade