Learning When to Give and When to Hold

I consider myself to be generous. But there was a time when I was generous to a fault. A fault to both myself and those around me. Being generous should not cause suffering. It is important to keep a sense of balance in giving.It is important that we are giving for the right reasons. For some, the more the give the more they feel needed. That kind of giving only backfires in the end. We need to be responsible givers. We need to not give more than we can afford. It is up to us to be sure we monitor our giving of time and money, resources and more. By being responsible in our giving we make sure we do not cause ourselves hardship by giving more than we have to comfortably and wisely offer. When we give too much, not only do we suffer, but others close to us do as well. Then the balance gets off kilter; we become needy and are now in a role of needing to be given to. Doesn’t make sense, does it?

A favorite quote by Jean De La Bruyere is "Generosity lies less in giving much than in giving at the right moment." So timing is important as well. If we give to others when they do not want to be given to, where is the generosity? Generosity needs to contain thoughtfulness. To be thoughtful we need to have someone’s best interest in our heart. Checking in with them and being sure we are in our alignment with our giving is important in the equation.

When we are being generous we are in an act of mindfulness. We are conscious of the needs of others and our relationship to that. We do not make assumptions, we keep our egoic self in check, we offer without conditions or strings attached. If declined we trust that it is as it should be, not disappointed in it not being what we wanted.

Learning the art of generosity and offering it with integrity and responsibility brings a consciousness to the offer. It is given in the light of openness. It is able to expand or constrict as needed. It is able to be received with genuine appreciation and without the need to reciprocate. The balance of giving and not giving is a beautiful dance of self and others. When done with the right rhythm, it is a beautiful gift of self and the recipient feels honored.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade